Sunday, October 29, 2006

Ouchie mouthie.

I had a root canal under sedation on Friday morning, and my mouth feels pretty raw on that side still. It's been a weekend of Vicodin haze and macaroni-and-cheese. I can't wait to leap back into real life tomorrow morning, do some shopping, enjoy life without dread.

Did you ever have something looming and looming and looming and the sense of dread just kept getting bigger and heavier until you could hardly stand it anymore? That's how this root canal was. The tooth has been a problem for three months, and the root canal has been scheduled for a month. I have a tremendous dentist phobia and a terrible gag reflex, so we had to track down a dentist who would provide sedation. But I was still so worried about it, because it was "conscious sedation" (sounds like an oxymoron, that) and no one could assure me that I wouldn't end up waking up and gagging/panicking in the midst of it all and not only forfeit the mega-bucks for the procedure but end up losing the tooth as well.

Friday morning I felt like a condemned criminal awaiting the chair, but the lovely, lovely drugs took right over and the whole thing went really well. SUCH a relief! Halcion is my hero. And everyone at the dentist's office treated me so nicely. What a load off my mind. At least until the next tooth problem.

While I've been preoccupied with my dentist phobia, Todd has been preoccupied with a job change. He submitted his resignation a week ago, and he'll start at his new job a week from tomorrow. It was a long process, and a hard decision, but we're really hoping the change will end up being the right thing. He needs work that will use his skills to the fullest and give him a challenge and some new things to learn, and I think this job will do that for him. It's so hard to make a break and leave the comfort zone, though.

I scrapped a page for the first time in about three months this evening. I hate it! I can't figure out where the enjoyment went, but it's just gone. I feel like I have to try, though...when Gianna was here in June, I pulled out a scrapbook and we looked at it, and there was a very simple page with her as a baby/toddler, and lots of details I wrote about what she was like and all the things I loved about her then. This was right before we left Ohio, and I knew I wouldn't get to see her every week, and it was so sad for me.

I just felt so grateful to have that documentation of her at that moment in time, and now I have all these other kids in my life, and the time with them is so limited and fleeting...I know I have to get things down so I'll remember them. So that was why I did a page on Evelyn tonight. But it was hard and I didn't enjoy it. Ugh.