Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New look.


I finally took some time today and sat down and figured out how to customize my blog, instead of whining about not knowing how. What a concept, eh? It took longer than I wanted it to, mainly because Blogger seems to have been designed by teenage boys who probably snicker in their cubicles, thinking of all the middle-aged women out there shrieking in frustration. Not that I'm bitter--I could have been wasting those two hours cleaning toilets or something.

The fall picture I found for my header above is one I took almost exactly a year ago, on the Wilderness battlefield in northern Virginia, one of the loveliest, quietest, most blood-soaked spots in the U.S. We were there last year to celebrate my 40th birthday. This past weekend, although I liked the nice round shape of 40, Mother Nature decreed that I must move on, to 41. I dislike odd numbers very much. They seem so jagged and don't fit neatly into slots.

Case in point: 2011, an odd number for an odd year. I'm not sure what has happened to me this year. There have been plenty of normal days, a few really pleasant days, but more dismal, bad and downright crappy days than I ever really wanted. Some of that has been from forces beyond my control...much of it has been self-inflicted. I feel like I've gotten crankier, meaner, more negative--more jagged, if you will. (I never did fit neatly into slots, so I'm not too concerned about that. )

So I woke up on Sunday, the day after my birthday, and decided 41 needs to be different if at all possible. I did great being positive on Sunday--I didn't leave the house all day and I watched old TV shows and did a bunch of research online. Easy peasy!

Monday I did great till late afternoon, when I got a big disappointment and then in the evening, had an anxious conversation with a friend. Suddenly I was feeling snappish and angry again. Todd said, "It's easy to be positive when there's nothing challenging you." So I stomped on his big toe. Kidding!

Today has been a mixed bag. I might have yelled at the neighbor across the ravine that they needed to keep their dogs quiet. In my defense, one of their dogs sounds exactly like a very loud, very hysterical squeaky toy. On the other hand, I said a few nice things to a few friends, and had a couple nice things said back to me. Plus, I got a bunch of laundry done. Tomorrow I'll go for an unmixed bag of positivity, I swear.

Here's a picture of me on my 41st birthday, enjoying a blissful cup of morning coffee at our neighborhood dive, which serves the best and cheapest breakfasts in town. I look pretty positive here, but then--I'm holding a cup of coffee, after all.

6 comments:

Jill said...

You know, just the other day a family member told me that I too was very negative and in particular this year! Maybe it's the economy or just all of the bad news that bombards you daily on the internet. What I am trying to say, albeit very lengthily, is that I completely relate~you are not alone. PS: Like the 'new look'- nice picture.

Janelle said...

Jill, that's an excellent point. There is a TON of negativity floating around out there. Bad economy, all the political stuff, bad news at every turn. Guess we need to find ourselves a bubble. ;-)

Martha said...

Janelle, you are such a great writer! I love the new blog look and that photo of you is adorable.

I've felt the same way as you lately...I've often wondered where I left my sense of humor! I've misplaced it and can't find it :)

hugs to you!
Martha

scrapmom4 said...

I love the new blog look. *sigh* we don't get leaves like that here.

Happy 41! Maybe if you focus on the four instead of the one it'll help. ;)

Janelle said...

Hee, Les! That's it, I'll focus on the 4!!!

Thanks, Martha, you are always so encouraging. :-)

Mimi said...

Firstly, what an amazingly lovely photo! And, happy birthday, my friend.

I'm kind of struggling with the same thing. Last night I was snarky about something that was none of my business and really, I came off as petty. It made me kind of re-evaluate what comes out of my mouth, and pops into my brain.

Sigh.