Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Farewell to all that

Well, tomorrow (today actually, it's 12:30 am) is the first day of my new diet/exercise program. Todd comes back from Ohio today and he and I are going to be living a new life, although I need it worse than he does.

July always seems to be the time when I attempt this. Maybe because wearing shorts and t-shirts really shows off the fat, I dunno. Four years ago I started on Weight Watchers right after Fourth of July weekend. Between July and November, I lost 30 pounds. Then in November, some very stressful and sad things started happening, and over the next two years I put it all back on. I tried again last July, but only made it through two or three weeks. I think a month of travel was what disrupted me that time.

In the past six months or so, my eating habits, which are never great, have really deteriorated. We eat out a TON, especially since I started working in March. And fuggedabout exercise--I have become a lump. So I have added another ten pounds to my all-time high of four years ago.

It is time to get things in hand NOW. I keep worrying about diabetes since my dad was diagnosed with it last year. None of my clothes fit...I am really reluctant to have my picture taken, and that never used to bother me, even though it's been a lot of years since I was svelte. And I do not feel even remotely sexy any more, which is depressing. I'm still young but I don't feel young.

I'm not going to post how much I weigh, because people who know me in real life read this blog, and I don't need anybody having that information about me! And I am going to try not to obsess here about the process. The less I think about it, the better, honestly...I can adapt to changes so much better when I just perform the necessary tasks without thinking about them.

This past weekend I've been eating the things I'll have to forego...my last pizza. My last Twinkie. My last Coke. LOL! And you know, I don't feel too sad about it. I am looking forward to having the energy and the happiness I had when I did this and stuck to it before.

Here we go.