Mixed feelings.

So I saw that Jerry Falwell passed away today. Talk about mixed feelings.

Mr. Falwell was a highly-regarded figure at the Christian school I attended in the mid-1980s. He may have been the first person who made me realize, as a teenager, that there were going to be people in the world identifying themselves as "Christian" who see that title far, far differently than I do.

Or it may have been Pat Robertson who made me realize that. At any rate, people like Falwell, or Robertson, cause me lots of brain strain as I try to wrap my mind around the gospel they preach, the politics they practice, and the good they do (they do do some good, right? right?) and how all of that fits in the same box called "Christianity" that I store my beliefs in.

So here's what I wish for Mr. Falwell: that when he woke up in heaven this afternoon, his mind was blown by the hugeness of God--the amazing loving Presence that is far, far, FAR beyond any label or creed or rule that we tiny humans try to box God up in. I hope his soul was opened so wide that the wind of God's love scoured it right down to bare earth, and will blow through it forever and ever.

Because that's what I hope for myself when I wake up in heaven.